The existence of friends is as important as family. That is the first sentence that PIDAS81 wants to say for P-assangers, okay? Friends are very precious, no one can replace your friends because they are one of a kind. Therefore, friends will not be the same as another.
Friends provide social and emotional support, relieve feelings of loneliness, and help you feel happier and more satisfied with life. But, friends don’t always like that. Some friendships might not have such a positive effect. Others might be downright toxic.
A toxic friendship is when you never feel being support by your friend. P-assangers feel discouraged when they ignore your concerns or are simply ignored if they never respond to your requests for help. The point is, they’re not there for P-assangers when P-assangers need a friend. But, toxic friendships can take different forms, but in most cases, it drains your mental and naturally bring you down and not building you up.
Because PIDAS81 is interested in people’s experiences of making friends, we will review the answers from a survey we shared previously targeting teens.
Question 1: Do you feel happy around your friend?
Based on the answers, 68% of people answered it depends on the situation, and 32% answered they feel happy every time. Because of that, PIDAS81 thinks that we can’t force ourself to always be happy around our friend. Why? Because we have to be honest with our feelings. If we feel unhappy with our friends, let it be. Don’t lie to ourself or you will suffer mentally.
Question 2: Do they care for you?
Based on the answers, 64% of people answered sometimes they do but it depends on the situation, 34.7% said they care for the respondent every time, and 1,3% told that they never care for the respondent. P-assangers will think this question will get a various answers, right? Yes, of course it will. But we think it’s better to recall your memory about what have they done to you, if they care about you, is it sincerely for yourself or their advantage? In toxic friendships, people often use their friends for their own needs. So, watch out and don’t let yourself be used by them.
Question 3: Do they make you feel you are being controlled or manipulated?
Based on the answers, 54,7% of people said they never being controlled by their friend, 40% said sometimes they do and 5.4% said it happens a lot to them. PIDAS81 thinks that we surely want input from our friends. The thing is, can we differentiate between giving a friend thoughtful advice and trying to rule them? When someone is constantly telling you what to do, they’re crossing an important boundary. This problem isn’t appropriate for us. From the answers, we know that there are still many people who feel that they’ve never been controlled by their friends, that’s good! But for those who feel yourself controlled by friends, it would be nice for you to start acting it out. Toxic manipulative people are not interested in you or your feelings. They just use this “weapon” to control you so you can become a part of their plans. But, people keep growing every day, searching for their identity. The point is, make sure friendship doesn’t swallow your identity. It’s not bad to practice to say “No.”
Question 4: Do you feel insecure around them?
Based on the answers, 65,3% of people answered sometimes they feel insecure around their friends, 18,7% said they never feel insecure around them and 16% said yes, they feel insecure around them. “If you’re always walking away from them feeling down on yourself, or having to talk yourself into why that person is your friend, that person might not be right for you at this time,” says Fati Marie, California-based certified integrative holistic health coach at Encinitas’ Four Moons Spa. Tune into your body. Do you feel weighed down, drained, and unsure of yourself? Listening to our inner voice is the best place to start. Listen to your instincts and begin to take a small step backward, away from any scenario that might connect you both.
Question 5: Do you often think life might be better without them?
Based on the answers, 72% of people answered they never think like that and 28% of people answered maybe it can happen, they aren’t sure. PIDAS81 is relieved to see the answer of never thinking that thing is more dominant than those who feel it could happen even though they are not sure. If P-assangers have a friendship that already toxic as well and can’t be fixed (such as giving a second chance to them), just try to take your step backward. Don’t continue your friendship or it will only get worse.
Question 6: Do they make you feel uncomfortable, nervous, or afraid?
Based on the article, 52% of people answered they never feel uncomfortable, nervous, or afraid around them. 46,7% said sometimes they do and 1,3% said they always do it all the time. I think this problem has different forms too for every individual. “Close friendships involve valuing the thoughts and emotions of another person. If your friend becomes easily enraged and doesn’t make an effort to see things from your perspective, you may want to consider whether the friendship feels healthy,” says Dr. Amanda Zayde, N.Y.C.-based licensed clinical psychologist. Toxic people do incredibly inappropriate things. Sometimes they won’t listen if P-assangers explain to them something they’re doing makes you feel uncomfy. Instead, they will make P-assangers feel bad or mean even for bringing it up. Even though it’s not true. Don’t let them do whatever they want to P-assangers, always try to speak up.
Question 7: Do they think like ‘It’s never their fault and you always have to understand and take their side.’ ?
Well, the answers are quite fair! 42,7% answered sometimes their friends do that and 42,7% answered their friends never do that. Oh, 1 more is 14,7% said it happens a lot to them. In some situations, psychologist and therapist Perpetua Neo said, “They’re very dramatic so they might publicly shame you in a place by shouting at you, so you feel bad and put in your place,” Neo said. “They make you feel like it’s your fault — if you don’t want such behaviors, then don’t do it again,” Neo said. No matter what a toxic person does, it is not their fault. It is so hard for them to deal with this. They will often start arguing and trying to protect themselves rather than say they’re sorry. The reasons for why they can’t accept their faults can be many, such as apologies could represent a threat to their self-esteem and They don’t want to take responsibility for their actions.
Question 8: Do they keep your secrets?
Based on the answers, 69,3% of people answered they always keep the respondent’s secret and 30,7% of people answered sometimes they tell a few people. P-assangers who has a friend who is lousy at keeping secrets is an unfortunate situation that could end your relationship. It’s one of the basic rules of a friendship, but it still happens, none the less. When P-assangers realize a friend betrayed you in this way, you’ll likely be shocked and hurt by it. P-assangers can talk to your friend about this in a thoughtful way. That way, there are no other hard feelings that come out of the discussion.
Question 9: Do you argue a lot?
Based on the answers, 68% of people answered sometimes they argue a lot but it’s not a big problem, 26,7% answered they never argue, and 5,3% answered they argue a lot until now. One thing P-assangers can guarantee from a toxic person is drama. Chaos seems to surround them somehow, either because they’re always arguing with someone and causing problems, or because unbelievable things keep happening to them.
Question 10: Can you be yourself when you are with them?
Based on the answers, 53,3% said they can be themselves with them every time, 45,3% answered it depends on the situation and 1,3% said they never are themselves when they’re with them. A toxic friend has a knack for spreading their toxicity to others. P-assangers might feel like you can’t be your most real self around them because of their toxicity. When you’re with that person, they bring out behaviors in you that aren’t your best.
Last Question: So, Keep them or Leave them?
Based on the answers, 95,2% answered keep them and 4,8% answered leave them.
Enough for the survey’s review, P-assangers! Even though there are many different answers, the question is, what are the solutions? Here’s a tip for you, P-assangers. You can choose whether you can stay with them or leave them right away. If you’re already making a decision, check these out :
- Keep Them
- How do you feel and what do you want?
- Do you think your friend will change if you tell them how you’re feeling?
- If it might be happening, have a conversation with them
- Set new boundaries, depending on what you need
- Stay with your friend and arrange your friendship to be better than before
- Leave Them
- Same as the ‘Keep Them’ option, how do you feel and what do you want?
- Try to take a rest/break/space for friendship
- Figure out what you can and can’t control
- Forgive and let the past be the past.
- Make new friends again!
Finally, we come to an end, P-assangers! Just remember, only you know what is best for yourself. If you want to end your friendship, let it go. If you want to stay with them, limit it. Do whatever you want.What might make this friendship worth keeping? Now, PIDAS81 leaves it to P-assangers. There are times when you need to end a toxic friendship for your health, well-being, and peace of mind. Ending a once cherished friendship can be painful. But you might try what’s best for yourself. So, it’s a wrap, P-assangers! See you in our upcoming article!