So, Let’s live 2015 the way you had lived past years before.
It is 2015, years past, memories has made and remains as mind time capsules. There aren’t people who knows what you’ve been through. What you’ve done recently and the purpose you’ve done it only you God know. Sometimes only few people who unwittingly involved into your life plan that makes them very important in your life. Sometimes uninvited people also come in sudden, without warning or call, you might say they’re distraction, but if you see through the whole scene wisely, what is wrong with people is always come back around to you. In fact the question is supposed to be delivered to yourself, what’s wrong with you?
The year was started on March, I filled the journal by things I didn’t think I’d get to do. I never thought I would go to AFS, go overseas, whilst, my dad always said to me, there’s long way to go to spend money besides going overseas, and I never tried to act against my dad’s. But, life wanted me to walk deeper into the cave. I passed the AFS tests. Until the third round I failed. I cried, but I learnt from it. And now I’m stronger. I have more willpower than before. I have more sting in my tail and more venom in my bite. I’m not going down without a fight. 5 months being hanged by anxieties and hopes that I can’t even begin to explain how grateful I am to my parents and friends for supports and prays.
I’ve through an incredible month that have changed me for good and I’ve met my relatives that I want to keep in my life for a lot longer. It happened in June, Ramadhan last year was no joke! How strong the power of Islam for me and I can’t stop to thank to Allah for the abilities to keep following His path, Allah SWT is the reason I want to live my life completely.
This paragraph happened in my birthday month, August. I can say this year was special organization month, how come it wasn’t? I was officially a part of Ҫista Niti Pranagata (Student representatives in my school) by 17th August 2014 (it’s Indonesia’s Independence Day too) how proud we are. And it’s a year I have more responsibility to our beloved Pidas as a treasurer. Please take care of me, my friends. This month, I’m closer with a few friends from school that were never in my circle and I’ve kept the people that mean the world to me close to me. My best friend still grins and hugs me tightly when she sees me. Friends-wise, 2014 has been perfect.
I’m a lot happier. I’m doing something I love. I feel proud and I feel triumphant. I have something in my life that I want to show off about. I have a goal. I want to live. I want to carry on to see the next day. I’m excited by the idea of the future. I’m yearning for the weeks to pass. I don’t think about how I can hurt myself but still not show scars. I don’t think I’m a worthless nobody who’s a waste of space. I don’t want to decompose and rot away, unloved and unwanted. I know that I won’t decompose and rot away, unloved and unwanted.
2014 was a weird year for me. I left some dreams I had dreamt and built few more. It was a year I changed my biggest ambition among all, well, I talked to my mother months ago, we negotiated to each other whether I should keep dreaming for STEI or not. I probably need to thank to GTC (goes to campus) activities for becoming the main reason of this changes; changes the path to my future. Luckily I didn’t turned out alone and I got to experience it with the greatest friends I know.
2014 hasn’t been perfect by no means. But it hasn’t been the worst. I haven’t managed to breathe my last breath. I haven’t managed to find myself a loving boyfriend. But I’ve got my best friends. I’ve got my gangs. I’ve got my work and the stability of a loving family. I’m so lucky and I’m going to live life fully this year. 2015 is going to be about grabbing opportunities by the collar and shaking them to get the most out of it. I’m not going to dilly dally about things. I’m not going to dither around. I’m going to really go for it this year because I deserve to. 2015 won’t be perfect but I’m damn sure going to try and make it the best year yet.
My New Year Resolution is to fill the 365 journal with consistent yet flexible works. I can do it, watch me!